The Well-Tempered Clavier

My hands were tingling. Especially my thumbs. Pricking almost …
And then I remembered a line from Shakespeare that I’d learned over half a life-time ago. Macbeth’s witches, doing foul deeds. And one says to t’other, "By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes …"
And my thumbs were throbbing like anything …
"So Tommy," […]

Idle Tom the publisher believes he has seen the light. The way towards more sales, a second edition, and from thence to … bestsellerdom.
"Bill," he says, "I think we’ve got to do more book signings."
"Fine by me. You get me any shop in Britain that wants to have a signing session, I’ll be there."
"Well Bill […]

Cheery Christmas greetings to one and all - or, as I have trained five-year-old Dexter to say, "God Bless us every one!"
Now - a very mild confession. A few weeks ago, I put into effect some of the more reprehensible tactics that I have learned from my publisher, Idle Tom.
What happened was that my wife […]

I have good news … and I have bad news.
First the good news. It pertains to a rather productive conversation with my publisher, Idle Tom.
"Bill," he said, "I think you’re not really making the most of your tabloid training."
"Really Tommy?" I said. "What do you have in mind this time?"
"Well maybe … maybe you […]

There are two people of note who work for Legend Press: Idle Tom, the boss, and Emma, who is the power behind the throne. Although Emma is technically Idle Tom’s junior, I have deduced that she - without doubt - is the driving force.
If you ever have to deal with Legend, take a tip from […]

Oh dear, oh dear.
I’d been hoping for so much from my ex-wife, now that our books have been twinned as Perfect Partners on Amazon.
But it was not to be.
I’d dreamed that although our marriage was a disaster, Anna and I might be able to work together. You know the sort of thing - create this […]

Monday mornings: I don’t know why, but my publisher Idle Tom always has a tendency towards friskiness at the start of the week.
"Morning Mr Bags," Idle Tom chirrups down the phone. It is the time of our morning conference, the first of the week, when we dream up new tactics, new strategies, for our grand […]

Now far be it from me to poo-poo advice from my publisher, Idle Tom. He’s a guy who knows what he’s at; who’s had a few hits under his belt; who knows just what it’s going to take to turn a mediocre book like The Well-Tempered Clavier into a bestseller.
But still … there are limits.
And […]