A Complete History of My Sexual Failures
I thought of Idle Tom the Publisher last night, when I saw this year’s funniest film: "A Complete History of My Sexual Failures".
The film had done pretty well at the Sundance Festival - but I had no idea it was going to be quite so hilarious.
In one scene, Waitt goes to a dominatrix as a way of apologising to all the girls he’s mistreated.
She laid in to him with a will - and to hear him howling with pain was the funniest thing I’ve seen this year. The cameraman was laughing so much that a lot of the footage was useless because the lens was shaking so much.
Anyway - a great, great flick.
But it did, I’m afraid, put me in mind of one other guy who happens to be a sexual disaster zone.
"Tom," I said. "Great film I’ve seen. About a guy who visits all his exes to pick up tips on where he went wrong - "
"Yeah? Is this going anywhere?"
"Of course it’s going somewhere. Every girl who dates him dumps him. He’s a sad loner and no woman wants to go near him -"
"So what’s your point?"
"He’s looking for some clue, some little pointer, about how he might improve his act -"
"Whereupon?"
"He even goes into therapy - because he’s realised that maybe it’s not the women who are the problem. Maybe it’s him."
"And?"
"And maybe you should see it."
"But you’re not saying this guy is me are you?"
"No! No, no, no! Of course I’m not saying that! This guy is a complete failure with women - they won’t touch him with a bargepole, whereas you … you …"
"Go on."
"Well … well … I’m sure that although you’re technically single, you’ve got just tons and tons of dates lined up -"