An even tougher signing session than Hackney
Doing a book session in the Jewish Orthodox capital of Britain, Hackney, on a Saturday afternoon … now that was tough. Pretty damn tough.
Not a single one of ‘em was even allowing themselves to set foot in the library.
As it happens, I think I can now top that.
Glasgow Waterstone’s on a Thursday afternoon. 6pm.
Everyone’s just leaving work. You’d have thought it’d be a great time to be signing books.
Well it might have been … if it hadn’t occurred on the day after Rangers lost the UEFA cup final.
My tender, charming book about young love went down like a cup of cold sick.
The shop wasn’t exactly full. I think I sold four copies in the hour.
Finally, a young sprig came in with his girlfriend. His fiancee, as it turned out. Meat and drink for authors such as me.
I gave him the full court press. (Basketball terminology, very useful, means you’re exerting maximum pressure).
At one stage, Chumpy was really tempted.
He even told me, "You know what, I’d give your sales pitch ten out of ten - and I’m a salesman!"
"That’s great!" I said. "Would you like me to dedicate it to you or your fiancee? Maybe you’d like two -"
"Oh no!" he said. "I’m not buying one! But I will say you’ve got a superb sales pitch …"
"Aiieeeee!"
* Tomorrow - find out whether Idle Tom the Publisher has plumped for my second book, Project X …