Book 2: The publisher’s decision
I have three contact numbers for Idle Tom the Publisher - and it doesn’t matter what time I call, whether it’s day or night. He NEVER answers the phone.
The usual drill is that I leave a message.
Hear nothing for the next two or three days.
And finally he gives me a call. Know what he always sounds like? Dylan from the Magic Roundabout.
"Hello Mr Coles," he drawls, as he eventually deigns to call me back. "How’s it going?"
"Very well thank you. What are you doing about my second book? Is it a go?"
"Yeah, well, I quite liked it, and I think it might work for us, and so yeah -"
"Yeah what? Is that it? Are you green-lighting it?
"Umm, well, I’ve had a think about it over the weekend, and, umm, yeah, I suppose so -"
"EXCELLENT! You might be a lot more enthusiastic - but still! I’ve never been commissioned to write a book before!"
"Umm, I guess, I suppose, I have commissioned the thing."
"OKAY! Well let’s talk advances! What are you thinking about? Big five figures? Small five figures?"
He coughed. "We don’t really go in for advances much at Legend -"
"What are you offering then?"
"Umm." A very long pause. "Heyyyy! I’ve got an idea! What about if we made you our author of the week! Would you like that? That would show real commitment!"
"Legend’s author of the week? Me! What are you on?"
* I’m not that agile with hyperlinks - and gather that I managed to mess up last week’s link to Simon Thomas’ generous review of The Well-Tempered Clavier. Should you care to check it out at www.stuck-in-a-book.blogspot.com, click here