Concerned about The Killer
Idle Tom the Publisher calls to check that I’m suitably keyed up for Hackney library this Saturday.
I most certainly am.
And then he went off at a complete tangent. Turns out he’s worried. Very worried.
"Been reading your blog, Bill," he said.
"Do you like it?"
"Well …" I could hear him doing something crackly on the other end of the line. Probably picking his nose. "Little concerned. Little concerned about The Killer. Do you really have a friend called The Killer?"
"Not only do I have a friend called The Killer, but he hates the front cover of the book."
"Y-e-e-e-s."
"In fact he hated it so much that he was thinking of having a little chat with you about it."
"Me? The front cover’s not that bad is it?"
"It’s pretty bad, yes. I’ve hardly met a single person who likes it. But that’s besides the point. The point is that we’ve got a great quote from Alexander McCall Smith. We need it on the cover."
"Ooooooh." He sounded like the squeaking hiss of a balloon. "Going to cost, that will."
"It might get The Killer off your back."
"Okay. I’ll think about it."
"One other thing. What the hell’s happened to that 10,000-word manuscript I sent you for Project X? What are you doing about it?"
"That? Oh that! Bit busy at the moment. Haven’t read it yet. Hope to get round to it at the weekend."
"That’s what you said three weeks ago!"
"So I did. Actually I probably won’t get round to it this weekend. Got the London book fair next week, busy time of year, deals to be made, people to be schmoozed, boots to be licked, bums to be kissed -"