Disappointment from the publisher
Idle Tom the publisher calls about my recent date with Jordan - aka one of Britain’s best-loved authors, Katie Price.
She’d come to Edinburgh for a book-signing. I turned up. But I couldn’t be bothered to join the immense queue and left her to it.
"Bit disappointed," said Idle Tom. "Why didn’t you turn up on time? Why did you have to leave it so late? The signing started at 4pm - and you only rolled up 40 minutes later."
"Tell you the truth, Tommy, it hadn’t occurred to me that Katie was going to be such a sell out."
"You’re an idiot then. She’s the country’s biggest selling author. Her last novel Crystal outsold the entire Booker Prize short-list. What did you expect to happen - two men and a dog to turn up?"
"I’d never dreamed it was going to be hundreds. Does she even write the damn books?"
"But she’s a celebrity! I thought you were supposed to be a Red Top reporter. I thought you knew all about how people love to meet the stars -"
"All right, calm down."
"Anyway. Where’s your next signing session?"
"Waterstone’s on Princes Street on March 1."
"What - not the same place that Katie had her signing?"
"The very same."
"If you could have even a tenth of the fans that Katie had - "
"We’d both be millionaires."
February 20th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Bill, with your celebrity connections, can you get me a joint signing with Katie when my book comes out? Thnx