Eton here we come!
Off to Eton today - oh yes, it’s going to be GRRREAT!
At least Idle Tom the publisher says it’s going to be great.
It’s the school parents’ day, the Fourth of June. George III’s birthday, dontcha know? Still celebrating it more than two centuries on.
Tons of bigwigs there, driving their Rollers and their Bentleys.
And in amongst them will be me. And Tom. And his four comely helpers, who he assures are not only absolutely stunning, but will be wearing the most micro-skirts imaginable. Or so he claims.
How will the Etonians be able to resist buying a copy of that delightful Eton love story, "The Well-Tempered Clavier"?
I, meanwhile, will be discreetly loafing in the background, just happy to sign a book or two.
A guy in his 40s has got to know his limitations.
I’ll be the same age as most of the boys’ dads!
"We all revved up?" said Idle Tom.
"You bet we are!" I said. "How many books you taking down?"
"Tons of ‘em!"
"And what are we going to do about lunch? Shall we take a picnic?"
"Picnic?" he said. "Are you mad? That’ll be prime selling time! We’ve only got six hours to sell the books! We’re working the school till every last one of the boys has left the place."
"Wow! You’re sounding a bit keen, Tommy. Are you sure you don’t want to get onto the Apprentice?"
"The Apprentice?" Tom was ASTONISHED! "How did you know I’d been short-listed for The Apprentice?"
* Tomorrow. The Eton story IN FULL!