Following in Jordan’s footsteps
Only two days to go till my next signing session at Waterstone’s - the Waterstone’s West End on Princes Street in Edinburgh.
Last time I attended a signing session there, I couldn’t get through the front door - because there was a mob of about 300 people all champing at the bit to see Katie Price/Jordan signing copies of her latest memoir.
Cooo! Do you think there might be 300-plus people come along to see me at noon on Saturday? Will they have to get the Health and Safety bouncers on the front doors to stop me from being munched up like Grenouille at the end of Perfume?
I was speaking to my all-time favourite book-shop manager, Alex, who runs the Waterstone’s on George Street. (The most upmarket branch in Scotland, I’m led to believe.)
“You’ve sold over 100 books in our branch since you came out in October!” he said. “That’s not bad!”
“Not bad at all!” I said. “Must be selling about one a day.”
“Your signings were terrific though. I’ve never seen anyone so bullish. You just grab ‘em and you don’t let ‘em go till they’ve bought the book.”
“It’s the only way, Alex.”
“Most signings we only sell about five books. But you - you’re notching up 40 at a time!”
“Excellent!”
“Though sometimes people are just taking the book to shut you up. Last time round, we found a couple of copies lying round the store which you’d signed and dedicated, but which then they’d just dumped.”
“Wetties! They couldn’t say it to my face!”