Idle Tom and the Blind Date …
Haven’t heard from Idle Tom the Publisher for quite some time. What ever could have happened? Is he working on some big edit? Is he striking some big new deal? Has he been glued to the Olympics on the box? Or … Could it be … Could it possibly be …
"Hello stranger!" I say. "What the hell have you been up to? You normally call every other day and we haven’t spoken since last week -"
"Oh, bits and bobs," he says. I so love that catch-all phrase. Bits and bobs indeed!
"Why don’t you tell me that you’ve been duckin’ and divin’?"
"Yes - well, ahh, that’s just exactly what I was about to say. I have been -"
"Bobbin’ an’ weavin’?"
"And that too -"
"So Tom, dear Tom, what have you been doing this past weekend? Sold the film rights?"
"Nope."
"Sold the telly rights?"
"Nope."
"Sold … Hang on! Hang on just one minute! You had a date on Saturday with that woman, umm, Susan! You had a date with Susan on Saturday! A blind date! That I fixed up for you! Well - what happened?"
"It went very well thank you."
"It went very well thank you?!" I mimicked. "Is that the best you can do?"
"It was great."
"It was great eh? That’s a little more positive Tommy. So you had a good first date and maybe you’ll be having a second and maybe I might get to be your best-man. But …" I trailed off.
"Yes?" Rather tired sounding. A bit testy.
"Tell me Tommy, the fact that you haven’t been in touch for five days and the fact that you had a "great date" on Saturday wouldn’t by any chance be related?"
"I couldn’t possibly comment."
"You didn’t spend the whole weekend with her?"
"I couldn’t possibly comment."
"You sly old dog!"