Idle Tom bans further mentions of Susan …
Imagine, if you will, the Three Kings’ pilgrimage, following their star on the way to Bethlehem to offer up gifts to the new-born King.
This, in a very small way, must have been the scene last Friday as Idle Tom the Publisher offered up his gifts to birthday girl Susan (who, as it happens, was fixed up with Tom by Your Humble Servant.)
Idle Tom - known to some of my readers simply as IT - called to tell me all about it:
"Morning Mr Coles," said Idle Tom. "Glad you’re not mentioning Susan any more in your blog."
"Morning Tom," I said. "You’re quite right that I haven’t mentioned Susan in my blog these past few days - but that is only because I haven’t written the blog since Friday. So how did the birthday go?"
"Now - you’re not going to write this up in your blog?"
"Of course I’m not going to write this up in my blog! If you don’t want me to mention Susan’s name, then she won’t get a mention."
"Promise?"
"My word is my bond."
"OK - well, the birthday went … TERRIFICALLY! Went off to Cartier, just like you told me, got the cheapest bit of tat they had on offer. Got hold of the red Cartier box and into that box I stuffed some old ring that had been returned to me by an ex -"
"Classy."
"Yeah - it was really cool. Susan was well chuffed. Funny thing was, I’d had this silver ring, kind of Gothic, hanging around for ages. Didn’t know what to do with it -"
"And then I suggest serving it up in a Cartier box, and Bob’s your uncle!"
"She swallowed it whole! A great evening was had by all!"
"God bless us every one!"
"Now - you’re not going to blab on this one, are you Bill? I mean Susan is a big fan of your stinking blog, and if she finds out that I’d already given the ring to an ex and then had it returned, she’s going to go ape - "
"You never know, you may yet be able to use your Gothic ring on the next girlfriend," I said. "But it’s not a problem, old boy. My lips are sealed."
"Good! No more mentions of Susan?"
"Nope - no more mentions of Susan. Anyway - what happened on the date?"
"It … it went well!"