Idle Tom gets burgled
Idle Tom the Publisher calls. It’s funny. I’ve never heard anyone apologise so much - yet palpably never mean a single word of it.
"Sorry I haven’t been in touch, old cock," he says.
"Old cock? Where the hell have you picked that expression up from?"
"It’s good isn’t it?"
"Well if you say so. Listen I’ve got some interesting news for you. My agent Darin has sent Project X out to three of his readers. They’ve all read it - read it, actually, in under two weeks - and they all think it’s a belter!"
"That’s what we like to hear, Mr Coles."
"So, umm, I daresay that you still haven’t read a word of it."
"Nope, not one single word. It’s still on my lap-top as it happens - though actually, come to think of it, it’s probably not on my lap-top any more, as my lap-top has been stolen - "
"Stolen? What’s happened?"
"Had a break-in at the office. Nicked a whole load of stuff. Bit of a pain. Yeah, and anyway, they also stole my lap-top."
"Oh - how very annoying for you. I’m sorry to hear that."
"Naah, it’ll be fine. We’ll get all the insurance back. Yeah, so I guess if maybe you could send Project X over again, then I’ll get round to having a look."
"But no hurry at all, right? I mean it’ll be fine if I send it by Christmas?"
"Whenever you want, old cock. Got all the time in the world on this one -"
"Tell me. I thought you were planning to have Project X out by next May."
"Did I really say May? Probably some time next year. Def-o."