Idle Tom has a plan
Idle Tom the publisher believes he has seen the light. The way towards more sales, a second edition, and from thence to … bestsellerdom.
"Bill," he says, "I think we’ve got to do more book signings."
"Fine by me. You get me any shop in Britain that wants to have a signing session, I’ll be there."
"Well Bill -" A pause. Not a very nice pause, actually. "It’s not that I’ve totally given up on your book yet - " (Love that word "totally"). "But -"
But what? But he was already going to pull the plug on The Well-Tempered Clavier? Only two months into the campaign? Not exactly in it for the long haul.
Another pause from Idle Tom, before he continues: "I think you’ve got to get busy."
"Thanks very much for that Tom. I mean obviously over the last couple of months I’ve been doing nothing more than just sitting here in front of the TV twiddling my thumbs. What sort of "busyness" did you have in mind?"
"One. I want you to personally visit the manager of every book shop in Edinburgh."
"Yep. Done that."
"Two. I want you to get yourself a signing session in every shop."
"Which I am endeavouring to do."
"Three. You get yourself a thousand leaflets printed up."
"Done already. Two thousand."
"And four. You rope in those girls."
"The baby-sitters?"
"Yes. Those five students who you had waitressing at that charity thing of yours. The pretty ones in those pictures. We’ve got to get them on side."
"Tricky. Slightly more tricky."
"Not for a man of your charm, of your light touch. Ask them nicely and you’ll have them eating out of your hand."
"I really hate it when you start on the flattery line. It doesn’t become you."
"I mean it! Get the girls on board! We need the girls!"
"And what do we do then?"
"Aha! AHA! I have … I have A PLAN!"