Idle Tom in search of a birthday present
A call from Idle Tom the Publisher. Twice in two days. That’s unusual.
He is seeking advice.
"Morning Tom - in fact, Top of the Morning, Tom!" I say.
"Morning Mr Coles, how’s it going then?"
"Oh it’s going just dandy, Tommy, nearly finished Project X. You’re going to love it."
"Good - good, good, good."
Now - no-one could ever accuse me of shirking the social niceties. Tommy asks me how I’m doing - and I’ll ask him the same question right back. "So how are you Tom? Susan well?"
"Fine - fine, fine, thank you Mr Coles."
"That’s just great then."
"And the book, Project X, that’s coming along too?"
"Yes," bit tetchy now, "just like I said 30 seconds ago. Tell me, anything on your mind Tom? Anything you’re particularly looking to get off your chest?"
"Well umm - umm - it’s, umm, Susan’s birthday on Friday and I was -"
"Wondering what to get her?"
"Yes - exactly."
"No problem there, mate. I have the exact answer. Go down to Molton Brown or Penhaligon’s or one of those classy unguent shops and get her a whole load of gunk for the bathroom. Women love that sort of stuff."
"Cool! What a great idea! I’ve never done that before!"
"My pleasure. You might even hang on to a girlfriend. For once."
"So how much is this stuff going to cost?"
"Maybe 80 quid or so. But if you want, you can really push the boat out."
"Eighty quid!"
"Yeah - now don’t be a cheapskate. Susan doesn’t want to date a tightwad."
"But eighty quid!!"
"Cheap at the price -"
"What if - what if I were just to buy the stuff from Boots and transfer it into Molton Brown bottles? She’d never know the difference -"
"Well - it’s kinda risky, Tommy, but if you think it’s a good idea, then … then go for it!"