Idle Tom is a little late … again
Off to London for a TOP LEVEL MEETING with Idle Tom the Publisher as well as my Uber agent, who for some reason came over all shy and retiring after hearing about this blog and said that "under no circumstances whatsoever" did he wish to appear in it by name.
Fair enough Darin - your wish is my command.
Anyway, this top level meeting had been set up a month ago. E-mails had been sent round in triplicate. Phone numbers exchanged. It was total belt and braces on this one.
We had arranged to meet up at Finchley Road tube station, from whence we’d go to a restaurant where we’d be meeting … we’d be meeting such a big hitter that I don’t even dare mention his name.
And we had agreed to meet there at 12.45 on the dot …
I arrived early. As you do if you’re shipping down from Edinburgh for the day. Had a great spot outside a cafe, where I could my eye on the goings-on outside the tube station. Sip my coffee. Watch the world going by.
Darin turned up at 12.45. Naturally.
But there was no sign of Tom …
"Where’s Tom?"
"He’s late," I said. "He’s always late. In fact he’s probably gone to the wrong place. If he can contrive to go to the wrong place, he will go to the wrong place."
"But I was pretty explicit …"
"I’ll give him a call," I said, and ten seconds later I had the man himself on the phone.
"Tom!" I said. "Where the hell are you?"
"What do you mean where the hell am I? Where the hell are you?"
"I’m outside the tube station waiting for you! What do you think I’m doing?"
"Well I’m waiting for you outside the tube station too!"
"Oh," I said, as this icy calm descended over me, "and what station might that be?"
"Finsbury Park," he said promptly. "I’ve been here ages."
"Finsbury Park? How can you do this to me? You’re supposed to be at Finchley Road you idiot!"
"Finchley Road? Are you sure we didn’t agree Finsbury Park?"
"Of course I’m sure. Why do you always do this?"
"Just let me look at the A to Z. Finchley?? Finchley Road is miles away! I’ll have to get a cab!"
"Well whose fault is that then?"
Sometimes I think we must sound like an old married couple, bickering together about whose turn it is to use the false teeth …