The Well-Tempered Clavier

So Idle Tom the Publisher and I met up to shake hands and formally sign the deal. The deal, that is, for Book Number 2 - the ultra top-secret Project X.

 

"I don’t think I’ve ever done this before," said Idle Tom as he scrawled his moniker.

 

"Done what?" I said.

 

"Given an author an advance before."

 

"Well … I think that if you want to be taken seriously as a publisher, then you’ve got to start doling out advances. Keeps authors happy."

 

"But the book’s not even written yet! What happens if you get run over by a bus?"

 

"You can kiss your advance goodbye!"

 

"Hmmm." Tom pondered. "How long’s it going to take to finish this thing?"

 

"Couple of months. Maybe more. Maybe less."

 

"Well just get a move on will you?"

 

"Cool it, Tommy. Anyway, do you mind if I reveal the size of your humongous advance on my blog?"

 

"Yes! Yes I would mind! If they find out how much I’ve given you, they’ll all be wanting a slice!"

 

"What are you on? I thought you raised the cash by breaking your piggy bank! It’s not exactly an earth-shattering advance -"

 

"Yeah I know, but -"

 

"Tommy! It’s a sign of commitment. It’s a trust thing. It shows we believe in each other. As if we were married -"

 

His face went all sickly grey.

 

I carried on nattering. "And this is our honeymoon drink!"

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