The Well-Tempered Clavier

Just in case you don’t read any of the comments in this blog, Idle Tom the publisher has been trying to engage in banter. Never really his forte. I know he tries hard. He tries so very hard. But he always comes across as some sort of whining, acned teenager - which, I suppose, is precisely what he is.

   In particular, the laddie has been chafed over the numerous competitions which he’s entered but never quite wins.

Let me see now: There’s Teenage publisher of the year;

And Juvenile Entrepreneur of the year (Ages 15 - 22)

Oh yes, and there’s one more: Spiky-haired publishing geek of the year (Open class).

Now that last one, actually, I think Tom’s got a pretty fair chance of winning. Might be worth going down to William Hill to see what odds they’ll lay you …

Anyway, Nearly-Award-Winning Tom has been crowing like a cockerel on the dungheap about the trophy cabinet that he’s having built for himself.

Here’s what The Chumpy says: "I did actually discuss a little while ago having a trophy cabinet built. It’s fair to say Coles that if the magpies were out looking for silver they would quickly flock to my window having left behind your dust-ridden shelves occupied very sparsely with make-your-own tin trophies put together by family to maintain your adequate self-esteem."

Huzza! Listen to the boy!

The Chumpy then goes on, in his usual prattling teenage way, "And if we move onto age, I’m afraid that William would even struggle in the karate field due to his rickets and gout playing havoc."

Hark at him! Rickets?? Gout?? Tell you what, Idle Tom, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. Sign up for Tough Guy - next January, through a muddy bog nearly Wolverhampton - and see if you can beat an old crock like me who must be at least double your age. I’ve already signed up. Then we’ll find out if Britain’s youngest publishing sensation is really the Vinnie Jones of literature …

Fancy a look at what Idle Tom and I will be doing next January? Here’s the Tough Guy website

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 at 9:00 am and is filed under Well-Tempered Clavier. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.