Idle Tom’s love-life: Do we have lift off?
News from the front-line of Idle Tom’s love-life, that gritty, unrelenting no-man’s land where my publisher finds himself all alone and hunkered down in a muddy, God-forsaken fox-hole.
"So Mr Coles, how’s it going?" asks the Idle One. That’s how he likes to start every conversation. I can imagine it - you stagger in off the street after a mugging, blood pouring from your face, and all he can say is, "So Mr Coles, how’s it going?"
"It’s going very well indeed thank you, Tom. What about your love-life? Any action there? Want to take any of these lovely ladies up on their offer of a blind date?"
"Ummm … could you just refresh my memory?"
"Of course. I’ve put out there for any woman who’s really really desperate to get in touch. And that’s about it. At the last count I had three offers."
"Three?"
"One of them sounded very promising. A young mum from London. Susan, I think, was her name. She’d been forward by her son Damian."
"Do I have to do this?"
"I think it’ll be fun. And, more to the point, I think it’s going to be good for you. You need to get out there, Tommy - "
"OK."
"OK what? Do you want me to fix it up?"
"OK."
"Consider it sorted. Now don’t go getting too drunk. I know what you’re like when you’ve had too much to drink and it’s not pretty