Ladeeez! Fancy a date with Idle Tom?
Yet more astonishing news in the, ahem, spine-tingling saga of The Well-Tempered Clavier …
A friend of mine genuinely fancies Idle Tom the Publisher!
Andrea, was one of The Sun’s few sex-sirens. She’s now just written her first book - out soon. And she just happens to have a crush on Idle Tom.
"I think he looks cute," she said. "I love that tousled just-got-out-of-bed hair of his."
"This is Tom we’re talking about??" I said. Incredulous. "And don’t be fooled by the hair. He spends hours on it."
"Lovely eyes," trilled Andrea. "A little younger than me. I’d quite fancy a toy-boy like him -"
Now I don’t want to get Tom’s hopes up - because firstly Andrea already has a boyfriend and secondly she lives in Dubai.
However …
It did occur to me that, in that whole vast universe out there, there might actually be one or two women who would not to be totally revolted at the prospect of a date with Idle Tom.
(This, by the way, is Idle Tom flogging the Clavier at Eton)
So ladeeez! Roll up! Roll up! If you fancy a date with my desperado publisher, the one, the only, the uniquely indolent loafer that is Idle Tom, then just drop me a line, and I’ll see what I can fix up.
Tom says that if you live anywhere in the UK, that would be preferable - but that he’s certainly prepared to travel. We certainly wouldn’t want any eligibles ruling themselves out just because they happened to live in California …