Revealed for the first time: My secret celebrity crush …
I don’t know why, but some authors - and indeed some politicians - feel the need to answer every single question that comes their way.
What on earth is wrong with a stout "No comment"?
Take the Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg, for instance. No-one but a total moron would ever reveal in public how many lovers they’d had - yet Clegg lets slip that he’s had "no more" than 30 lovers.
Similarly, I think that if you’re married, it would be a bad idea to be candid with a question such as, "Who do you have a secret/weird celebrity crush on?"
And funnily enough … this was one of several curve-ball questions in the latest Legend Press questionnaire. In the unlikely event you want to read the whole thing, just click on Author biogs, and scroll down to "Bill Coles spills the beans".
I spent some time considering the question. Not that I do have a celebrity crush, but still … us first-time authors have to sing for our supper. It means you have to be just that little bit more cunning with your answers.
So here, and for the first time, are revealed the two gorgeous ladies on whom I have a "weird celebrity crush".
"This may sound a little bizarre, but it is all perfectly explicable.
"For seven months of the year up in Edinburgh, it’s usually freezing and grey. This has meant that I have had to find
a number of indoor places to take my boys.
"One of these places just happens to be the
National Gallery, which is a 15-minute walk down the road.
"And in there … are two absolutely
stunning women. Well - to my mind, anyway.
"Strange things probably start to happen to
your brain after about the 50th visit to the gallery."Both women happen to be blue-bloods and they’re both married, but to my warped
mind’s eye, they are the very height of feminine beauty.
"The first is The Honourable Mrs
Graham - though she does have a little too much of a penchant for grey for my tastes -
and the other is Lady Agnew of Lochnaw. Now that Lady Agnew - she is an absolute
stunner!"Both these ladies are long dead, I’m afraid. But - fortunately for us - John Singer Sargent
and Thomas Gainsborough caught them in full blossom."
If only dear old Nick Clegg had had me by his side, he wouldn’t now be known as "Clegg-over".