Telling tales out of school
Now … I hope I’m not telling tales out of school and …
I hope I’m not sharing anything with you that ought to remain private, however …
JORDAN’S BEEN IN TOUCH!
AGAIN!
Seems as if that last cheery e-mail I sent her really hit the mark. She wants to meet up! At the Lanesborough, no less!
Can you imagine?? The Sun’s two foremost former writers, Katie Price and Bill Coles, reunited for a drink at one of London’s classiest hotels. And who knows? Maybe one thing might lead to another! Maybe we might even have dinner!
One thing though. Katie - best-selling author of "Crystal" et al - does have this slightly disturbing habit in her e-mails of always WRITING IN CAPITAL LETTERS! YES! ALL THE TIME! IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE’S PERMANENTLY SHOUTING AT YOU!
One of my more deranged bosses was a guy called Jonathan Ashby, who started up the World Entertainment News Network - also known as The Reuters of The Dustbin. That is, we dealt in showbiz news.
Dear Jonathan had a number of peculiar habits, which included drinking a pint of his own urine every morning. I remember how he would traipse round the newsroom in his bare, Hobbit-like feet, slopping the contents of his pint-glass all over the carpet. Anyway, to get to the point, any communication from Ashby, whether personal or a general memo to the newsroom, was ALWAYS WRITTEN IN CAPITAL LETTERS. After a while it became rather wearing. Much like the man himself. (Jonathan - are you out there?)
So, as I say, I hope I’m not revealing anything I shouldn’t, but … here’s the latest communication from Jordan. Had to take out some of the details though, as obviously I don’t want the world and his wife to be there witnessing my tender reunion with a Page Three legend:
HI BILLY COLES. I’M WAY TOO BUSY FOR SCOTLAND, SO IF YOU WANNA PUSH THE BOOK GET DOWN TO LONDON. I’M WITH SOME OF MY GIRLS ON … AND YOU CAN JOIN US FOR DRINKS AT THE LANESBOROUGH AT … MAYBE SEE YOU THEN. IF YOU CAN MAKE IT DON’T GO TELLING YOUR MATES AT THE SUN, COS I DON’T NEED THE EXTRA HASSLE!!!! LOVE KATIEXXXXXXX
Bit of a pain about the date though. Got a prior engagement. But you know what? I’ve got to be up in London on the 14th to see Idle Tom the Publisher and Diligent Judith the Agent, so maybe Katie could fit me in for tea that day.
PS. Did you check out all those kisses? Genuine, I assure you.
PPS - and, just for old time’s sake …